New year, new me.... just kidding that is up there with my least favourite sayings. I don't want to be anything other than myself , I don't want to be a new me but rather an ever evolving same me. I think there is something about the saying, new year, new me that disregards the growing process and gives off the idea that you weren't good enough as you were. Having said that I do still write new years resolutions in my visual arts journal, somethings are specific like last years, quit smoking, some a bit more general like dorky cliches such as "don't worry, be happy."
This year I am really excited to start my degree so one of my new years resolution is to do my best at that. I want to learn to meditate. I have already got an app for it called "Calm" and have done it a couple of times, it was actually really surprising how difficult it was to sit and practice mindfulness for only 10 minutes. I am a terrible fidget so I think it will take time and practice. I want to increase my fitness levels, last year I started using the Nike+ training app and have found it really good, I've recently downloaded the Nike + Run Club and have been enjoying adding running back into my fitness schedule. One of the resolutions that I most want to achieve this year is to learn to drive, it has long been on my list of things to do and this is the year that it will finally get done. Next on the list if to spend less time on social media, not in the sense of less blogging but spending less time scrolling, I feel like I am spending more time that I want to be observing other peoples lives and not enjoying my own and It just isn't how I want to spend my time at the moment.
My apologies it has taken till the now to write my first post for the year, like I planned it has been heads down, work, sleep and count down the days until I go on holidays. I have two days left of work and then it's time to fly to America for my first ever trip there. Would love any suggestions for places to go to in New York of Los Angeles, particularly fashion stores, good soy coffee and vegetarian food. Happy New Years, hope 2017 is wonderful so far xx
I've woken up after my final exam, with a day off work and no specific plans. It's such a wonderful feeling to not have the shadow of the looming guilt of " you should be doing uni work". I have thoroughly enjoyed studying this year but at times it has been pretty overwhelming.
I fell off the map with the blogging for a while so I will catch you up a bit on what I have been doing. I was working in retail, managing a sneaker store after moving up from Melbourne. It was a great company to work for and the product was amazing but I didn't feel satisfied. I hadn't worked in retail for quite a while and during my time in Melbourne I had worked my way into head office roles in the fashion industry. I guess it felt like I was taking a step backwards in my career and wasn't utilising my skill set to its fullest. I knew moving up to Newcastle that the fashion industry didn't exist, i accepted that and made my choice. The reality of it was a bit harder to swallow.
I made the decision to resign from my role as a store manager... with no job to go to. The ultimate thing you are always told not to do, I did it. It was pretty terrifying but I had always found work quickly and easily in the past so this would be fine. I had an upcoming trip to Japan and my plan was when I got back I would find a part time role and focus on a baby/kids clothing label. If there was no industry here, I would make one for my own. This is where I hit a snag, finding a part time role proved to be a lot more difficult than I expected. I needed to be investing money into my baby/kids label to get it really happening, but I was living off of my savings and had no idea when my next pay check would come in. I was starting to feel really lost
Sometimes feeling lost can lead to good things, emotionally awful at the time but sometimes you need that to dig deep enough to find clarity. I've always wanted to study psychology, it was one of those things that I always said one day... I loved working in the fashion industry so it was always a good excuse to put off studying but I knew that one day working in fashion wouldn't fulfill me. I had studied fashion at tafe and I found it to be a really mentally draining process and that made me fearful. There was also the the issue of having to go back to being broke, limiting shopping (arggghh). So here was my situation I was already broke, I couldn't get a job in fashion (if i stayed in Newcastle) so maybe now was the time to study. I didn't finish year 12, in fact I finished school towards the end of year 9, for reason I am not interested in going into on this space. It is a debate I have had many times with people that just because a person lives in Australia and has access to education does not mean that their situation affords them access to that education. My completed level of education isn't generally information I am forthcoming with as people can be super judgmental. The result is that it is something I am pretty self conscious about, I have always been a reader which helped in self education but there are holes. I have never been taught how to write essay, I often go red with embarrassment just writing this blog haha. My maths level sat at about a year 9 level. When I was at school I actually did quite well but in maths in particular when I completed my work I was told to sit and wait for everyone else to finish, it didn't provide a lot of incentive to try.
I could have potential applied directly for psychology using my certificate in fashion but the maths level and missing essay writing ability would have presented pretty significant problems. I am lucky enough that the university near me offers a program called Open Foundation, it is a free program for people over 20 that helps to develop the skills to study at Uni and provides an entry score to get into a degree. You study 40 units in total, 20 of each subject and there is quite a wide variety of subjects available. I decided to do intermediate maths and philosophy, my choice for maths was to avoid drowning in stats if I got into a psychology degree and I felt philosophy would help me to develop my essay writing skills. I had tossed up between doing philosophy and social inquiry as both interested me, but settled on philosophy as one of the men I admire most is Peter Singer who is an Australian moral philosopher.
It has been a challenging year, there were many tears, many moments of wanting to give up. I was fortunate enough to end up with possibly the greatest teacher in existence as my maths teacher. I have no doubt that had she not been my teacher, there is strong possibility that I may have given up. She was so supportive and wonderful and helped me to build my confidence, which really was such a key issue for me. I wish that all teachers could be like her, not only did she take me from 9th grade level maths through to the hardest level of year 12 maths and onto probability and stat in less than a year, she also inspired me with her continuous positive attitude and passion towards what she did. I have worked my absolute butt of this year, where other people had to do an hour of study I had to do 5, I was always playing catch up. Now it is over, the never ending year has ended, I am sitting on a high distinction in maths and last night I sat a philosophy exam where I wrote 4 essays in 2 hours. This time last I wasn't capable of sitting an exam without having a severe panic attack and I am blown away by how far I have come.
Now for the waiting game, on the 9th I get my final results back and on the 15th offers start going out and I will find out if next year I get to start my degree in psychology. Keep your fingers and toes crossed for me! As I write this there are a lot of really horrible and really sad things going on in the world. There are a lot of people who are writing about these things who have a better authority and a more informed opinion to be writing about these things and I will leave that to them. What I will say is how important I think education is, accessible education for those who can't afford it. Not only accessible education but providing people with access to the tools of how to access education and the support to get them through it. xx
Over the weekend my partner and I went and looked at some rental properties, we are looking at getting a unit a bit closer to town and closer to the beach (yay!). I've made the huge mistake of falling madly love with a place that we have applied for...I've been day dreaming about setting it up to be my perfect pastel wonderland and now I have to sit back and wait patiently with all of my fingers and toes crossed. Hopefully my next post will be one of excitement and not a real estate induced broken heart.
In the theme of interior decorating I did my first DIY update on a glossy black mirror that I have had forever (I might post a pic next week). It's currently setting in a gorgeous shade of pastel mint, it was actually a lot easier than I expected and is making me want to maybe try my hand at a few more DIY furniture updates. I've always wanted to paint my desk pastel pink so that might be a project I'll get into pretty soon.
I really need to also get stuck back into my sewing, I'm not in a rut with it, the total opposite in fact. Since I got back from Tokyo I am feeling over inspired, I don't know if that makes a lot of sense. I think being there made me feel so inspired and made me want to do so many creative projects that I am procrastinating by daydreaming about all the millions of things I want to do but not actually getting anything done. Time for some lists and time management! xx
Another 6 months has passed since my last post, I still haven't gotten my camera fixed but my lovely boyfriend helped me out with some outfit photos. Not to sound like a cliche but this year has absolutely flown, again another cliche, time flies when you are having fun. This truly has been the best year of my life, one of the exciting things to happen this year was my first trip overseas.
I went to Tokyo for 10 days about a month ago. I don't know why I haven't been overseas until now, the amount of money I invest in my wardrobe may be a slight factor hehe. Japan has always been my dream location so it seemed fitting to make it my first trip. Japan was everything I wanted and more and I had such an amazing time, I was pretty close to tears when I had to come home. Before I went overseas I did think about doing a diary blog post of my adventures but as it was my first trip I didn't want to spend my trip thinking about what I was going to write about, I wanted to make sure I was fully immersed in the moment.
What I did do instead was a shopping haul you tube video of my purchases which you can check out here, This is my first you tube video and I am hoping that it will end up being something I do a little bit more of. If there is anything you would like to see me do a video about please feel free to comment below.
